I recently ended up in the middle of a political conflict completely by accident.
An argument that had started before I arrived had been put on hold to “get the manager.” And when that person came back, the argument was picked up with me standing in the middle (literally).
Something like “You’re in America now and this is how we do it” might have been said by someone who was not born in America to someone who was. An interesting reflection on what it means to be American. But it was heated and not helpful.
As I watched the two take their time only to essentially agree to disagree, I thought about the time and energy suck on their day, as well as mine, and their managers’.
Political discussions at work can be polarizing, invigorating, or catastrophic.
And the consequences are real:
- One-third of employees have experienced conflict due to political disagreements, and 80% of them have started looking for new jobs because of it. (Perceptyx)
- 51% of employees say political talk hurts the work environment. (SHRM)
- 21% admit to hiding their real political views just to avoid conflict. (Kickresume)
- This inability to find a path through dialogue isn’t just bad for morale, it’s expensive. Workplace incivility, which spikes during election seasons (no surprise), costs employers $2 billion a day in lost productivity. (SHRM Civility Index)
So poorly handled political discussions decrease engagement and productivity. But is shutting those conversations out of the workplace the only option?
I’d like to think that there’s another alternative. One where people can feel (and offer) respect without having to shut down all political topics, all the time.
As Alan Thicke wrote, “It takes, Diff’rent Strokes to move the world.” Ain’t that the truth?
In a world of diversity, we will sometimes have dissonance. And I want all of us to be able to navigate it in ways that move the world better.
How to Practice Respectful Discussions in the Workplace
1. Stay Curious
This tenet is foundational to mediation, communication, and pretty much any successful interaction (human, machine, or otherwise). It’s also HARD. See #2.
2. Adopt Another Perspective
Since we all come to the table with different ideas, backgrounds, and values we’re going to have different realities of what’s “good” or “bad,” “right” and “wrong.” And when those embedded values are vastly different from ours? Our human brains have a tendency to dig into our own perspective. We become impossible to reason with.
If you can catch yourself before your brain digs in, TRY to imagine what it would be like to think the way the other person does.
“The test of first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. “Use Your Words. Carefully.”
My parents used to say this to me when they could see me unraveling as a child. I still say this in my head today. But I add in a twenty-minute delay.
I witnessed something shocking last week and I accidentally spit out “Oh no…no.”
But twenty minutes later, I had composed a reasonable—and well-received—email explaining my perspective, and why I was upset by the incident. I couldn’t have done that if I’d spoken in the moment.
When you’re tempted to react emotionally, PAUSE and ask clarifying questions. Phrases like “I want to understand where you’re coming from” or “it sounds like” can help keep discussions civil.
If a topic becomes too much for either party, that’s a good time to say “You know what, I’m not ready to talk about this right now. I’m sorry, but I think I need some time.”
4. Consent to Dissent
I’m not always great at holding back from initiating tough conversations. But I am very cognizant when doing it in the workplace.
Because while I know that I’m genuinely interested in what and why people think the way they do, contentious, controversial conversations are not for everyone. They may be personal, uncomfortable, or even offensive to the person you’re talking to or someone stuck listening in.
Don’t force conversations or corner colleagues into discussing politics. “Did you see that debate Friday? What did you think?” Probably fine socially, but could be a form of harassment in a work setting.
Regardless of political/religious/social beliefs, work colleagues share so many more priorities and values. Some of those are probably what attracted you all to your company, your industry, your role.
When in doubt, keep discussions tied to these shared ideologies (“You know what I most appreciate about working with you is…”) rather than ideological divides.
When conversations threaten collaboration, you’ve lost – no matter who “wins” the debate.
Talk to us about improving communication in your workplace today.
